Thursday, June 18, 2009

Life is a Vision.


Yes, I suppose life is all but a dream. Who are we to say we exist? There are regions that we shall never explore; Places that we cannot even imagine. But perhaps those places do not even exist. Do we all have our own seperate dimensions where only what is in our knowledge exists? If we never knew something existed, until someone told you about it, did it exist before? Does God look at his creations all the same? Does it matter what you think or believe in? I suppose he only listens for those who accept his word; If you have disobeyed him perhaps he just abandons you. We are just skeletons and flesh living in his biggest regret, this earth.

But what if there is no God? Yet higher beings above us, just observing us. Then would life be a vision? What if there is no higher being, no God, no spirit, no creature more advanced then homo-sapien. Ah yes, then life, would really just have no meaning then would it? We could die, and people would mourn, but reality is the mourning would stop. There would be no spirit that would remain because spirits would be non-existent.

Yes it is a lonely idea. ” According to the Existentialist, a human being’s existence is a lonely existence. At the end of the day, we are all alone. Can anyone ever truly understand what it is to be you, to experience all the things you have experienced, to understand your joys and happiness, your pains and sorrows? Surely we can talk to other people about how we feel, we can draw pictures, we can play music, but all this attempt to communicate ultimately leaves something behind. We cannot always get our feelings, ideas or experiences across exactly. There is a painful reality that ultimately we are alone, by ourselves, and ultimately lonely.”

It is but a tragedy, that we are not alone, but lonely. Silent beats play in our ears that we cannot hear. I wonder if it’s an angel singing us a lullaby, or a demon whispering to us hatred. If we are able to control our life in our dreams; How do we know that is not reality? And now we are in some sort of a dream. All the pain we experience here, but in our dream-life, you can never feel pain.

If you could count the amount of breaths you have taken already in your life, it would seem like so much. If you were to count them in 10 years, the amount from this moment would seem like so little. It is a countdown to our death, is that all it is? If we could live 300 years would we try as hard as we do now? Mabye death is a blessing, and a small amount of years to live. You have such a short time, you will be willing to accomplish a dream before the clock stops ticking. Is it our will, that keeps us going? Even life has no meaning, we remain stubborn and try our hardest. Is it human nature? Is it a spiritual thing? Or does this itself have no meaning? No, not even in the depths of my mind can I find an answer. Only more questions.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Needles & Pins

Dreams are silently disappearing.


Look ahead; failure is running away.
Anger is so taunting; control your fears. Control your fears..


Go back to sleep.



Can destiny be chased down and thrown away?
So we can live without a path;
Free from our chains & burdens.


"The Boogey Men are coming. "


Drain out my senses and let me fall alone;
Let my passion save me from my guilt.


Please die frustration;
It's leaving me weak.


Fuck Society and it's bastard ways;
Locking us inside; Making us believe we are powerless.
One voice can create chaos among the country.

To bad everyone is too busy trying to fit in;
Fearing consquences of rebellion;
Never realize create the consequences.



Make believe fire;
Make believe glory;
Make believe everything will be okay.




Feed me strength to battle your greedy ways.
Fight through the bullshit God throws at us.
I am my own army.


No one seems to get it anymore;
But it's okay.
I could care less.



Bitter words sting my lips;
Run liar run. They're coming after you.

"I don't care if you don't; I don't care if you don't care. "



Laugh and mock the actions of our "wonderful" government.
Point and stare at our great "citizens."
Why bother; I know you aren't listening.


Intimidate me; Tease me; Hate me.
Free me, Hold me, Love me.




"To live; and not to break. Is to die; in tragedy. To run; to run away.
To find; what you believe. And I; leave behind, this hurricane of fucking lies."



Sweet talk me into happiness baby.
Who I was before was would hate who I am today.
Or would I love then nothing I have accomplished?


" Sweet dreams are made of these; Who am I to disagree? "


Your evil ways mold my heart into black dust.
This white canvas is stained with dirt.
Applaude at my success in never failing.
I will show them all.


Twist my mind; Bend peace;
It is non-existant.

"Some of them want to use you; Some of them want to get used by you. "

Life isnt about hate or love. It's about passion; passion and belief. If you can succeed beyond average it is okay to die. When you have remained lost in the cloud then life is truly meaningless. Society is dumb, easy to trick. Don't blame the leader, blame the people. Have passion and go farther then possible. Possibilites are endless on this planet; in this universe. You can either trick or save the people ..

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Day and Night.

Who am I?
Who is the person I see in the mirror;
Sometimes I can't recognize it's me.

Smile softly. I won't disappoint you
if you won't disappoint me.

I silently stare at my wall.
I'm all alone tonight;
But I feel no fear.

I stare at the floor and see a shadow.
There I am.
I am just darkness. Turn off the light And I'm gone forever.

Life is filled with oppurtunities.
Which ones that I have let slipped away
could've brought me greatness?

If I disappeared today;
Would anyone notice?


A sunset awaits not to long from now.
Where man has not walked upon there is peace.
Nature; no disturbance.


I feel at peace; I smile when I sleep.
When I dream of you.
Nothing could go wrong.

God forgive me when I blame you.
I am the one walking with shame;
You've done nothing wrong.

These butterflies won't leave.
There is no more doubt;
I can dream in peace now.



Drug me up;
Help me forget my past.
Erase my memories.
Help me start new.


I am fine; I am great.
I am happy; I am sad.
I am in peace; I am in pain.
I am logical; I am insane.



Life; why must you taunt me ?
You push my buttons until i break apart.
I am strong. I will never fall down again.


I am fine. I am fine.
I need sleep..

Saturday, April 4, 2009

What are you hoping forever?


What to do when we fear ourselves?
When our palms are cold and our flesh is pale?

We hurt so many innocent souls but we stopped caring; even for our own.
Can tradedy be erased ? Can hope be found where it was lost?


"Forgive me Lord for I have sinned. "


Believe in something today, forget about it tomorrow.
Why must life take away what we need? Why must we always search for something new?
Is it possible to feel so much guilt & rage that you don't sense it anymore?
Only dreams hold your answers..
but what happens when your dreams aren't remembered lately?


It is okay to cry isn't it?
Even when things should be fine.
Please don't blame yourself for this.
Why do I always seem to fall back to these memories?
Perhaps they meant it when they said sorrow follows you forever?

It doesn't seem right. Mabye I am just feeling quite a bit lonely..
But does loneliness do this to everyone?
I don't know. Why must I continue questioning myself...?



I am happy // I am happy.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Right and Wrong










What is love and what is hate?
Who are we to say that killing a million people is wrong;
and saving a million people is right?


Aren't we all just animals in a natural cycle? There is no right and wrong if our destinys have already been pre-determined. Therefore every action we do we really have no choice; it's bound to happen. So who are we to say what we do is wrong?


Is there such thing as true love? True hatred? I find that everytime I am in a relationship the same words are always repeated with each new person.

" You are my everything; I love you; you are my hero. "

When will someone say something new?

I rather hear someone who loves me tell me that they hate me. I'll call that true love. Because even though they hate me they can't stand being away from me. Ying and Yang.




Is man truly evil? I am starting to believe that it is impossible now. Because one persons view of what is wrong will be right to someone else.


I don't enjoy to learn history where a leader is described as "evil and mad."

You don't know what they were thinking; what was their past, their every emotion, feeling, expierence.

Perhaps I am the mad one for sympathising such people.




I am starting to understand the real meaning of peace. The idea of accepting everyone, their ideas, beliefs, culture, no matter how "evil" or "strange" it may seem.

That is why I call myself a true gemini. I have both sides to me. My past has caused the negative side to influence me more but I can tell you the total optimistic side of the story. I have to have both sides. Black&White.

One won't satisfy me.


But true peace can never be succeeded. Since someone's belief might be total hatred to mankind; or a person; or people.



But how much are we worth ? Some people might say alot. A hell of a lot.

But imagine the amounts of people who have taking a puff of air on this planet. It seems to be never endless.


Those who believe in God; when you die and become an angel; that is all you will ever be. Just another angel. There will be no significance; you will just be conformed with everyone else. Everyone will be equal so you will not be seen as you; but once again, as another angel.

Life on earth seems a tad meaningless to me sometimes. We grow up and work till we die. There are many things in between, but overall that's all it really is. And when we die all our money goes to our family or back to society. In a couple 100 of years you will most likely be forgotten because everyone who knew you will most likely have past away too. You name will be meaningless. Every emotion, memory, that you have will be lost in the depths of time.




You are just another angel.
Or if you end up in hell, well you will just be looked as a failure in God's eyes and you will burn for all eternity. No way out. Then there your life will truly be pointless. No one will care about you. No one. It is suffering to a point that is undescribable. Perhaps humans cannot comprehend how painful it is; that's why most of us don't give a shit.



Yes; I am a pessimistic person. Do not ask me to change; because my views are mine. This is my point of reality.


Perhaps that is why I talked about the whole point of what is evil and what is love? Wrong or right?
My biggest fear is to leave this planet forgotten. I know that at one point we all will be; but I want to leave a piece of me that impacts this world for a great amount of time. That is why I don't care about leaders like Hitler did. He did something that changed the views of many forever.He did what he believed in, no matter how disgusting you think it was. How many people have had power like his ? And then there are people like Ghandi who also brought new ideas into this world. He died for his cause, would you do what he did?

Both were fighters, believers, leaders, and heroes in the eyes of different people, yet some people also saw them as a threat, an enemy.

I like to study both sides of the coin before I give my judgement. Perhaps that is what is wrong with people; they only want one side of the story. The side that is comfortable. They don't want to hear anything else. You don't know what the person has been through. You will never know because just like no one understand you fully; you will never understand them.




But who are you to say which of the two was the good guy and the bad guy?


Because your wrong; is their right.
And their wrong; is your right.

Monday, January 12, 2009

I don't want to be controlled by God or the Devil.
I'm not saying I don't believe in either; but it sucks ass that
once you stop believing in one you worship the other.

I don't want to be judged by my actions; my words; or my past.

I am someone new everyday; because I learned something new yesturday;
that I teach myself for each tomorrow.

I am most likely nothing close to who you think I am;
Trust me I know that;
because I still don't know who I really am.

Do not speak as if you are my bestfriend; or as if you know
what I want in life, what my passions are, what my destiny is,
you know nothing. Nothing.


It's hard to choose between good or bad.
Because my version of good. Is just as equal to your bad.

I do things, say things, believe in things because I am scared.

I saw death today, as I walked upon the gravestones on a cementary.
There were hundreds of lifeless and empty ones.
The place where you were to place flowers was filled with weeds.
1921 was a year someone died.
And now they are forgotten.


I think that's what scares me the most.
When I remember how short life is,
how fast it is happening, and how fast it will end.

How these words I say, will one day be nothing.
They will vanish and disappear in the dark parts of time.
Never to be found.


Do not believe you have discovered me.

I am still buried somewhere,
where there is no map to trace me.

Believe me.







God gives you complete happiness;
but sometimes in this life you cannot be completely happy.

The Devil gives you suffering;
but sometimes in life you need pain to remind you that you are alive.


There is no "in-between"

There only is.
You can run,
but you will be caught,
because the reality is;
you cannot run forever.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Mad World

We all want to be recognized;
to be known for generosity,
and not for our sins.

We want our names to be recorded in history;
to be famous for saving the world;
perhaps even destroying it.

We want to fall in love;
to love someone and be loved by someone;
and to never break that bond.

We are lyrics to a song;
a melody that no one can chance;
a tune that sticks to you till death.

We are a flame from ice;
black and white;
we contrast both good and evil.

We are God's children;
who hate our creator;
and play with the devil.

We all dream and scare ourselves;
at how unrealistic life has become;
how we wish our dreams were reality.

We want a savior;
someone to guide us from fear;
to save us from the monster under the bed.

We all miss something or someone;
they forever haunt you in you sleep;
never letting you forget their existence.

We are all humans;
we are all creatures that will soon die in a science outlook of life;
But we all have meanings in a spiritual outlook of life.


And yet;
we really are bound to die soon;
and we will become, nothing more.